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20 of the Internet’s Most Awesome Snowmen

by Jones Oil

According to every tabloid newspaper since September, every year, this Christmas will be the coldest, whitest on record. Almost every festive decoration and card you own will probably involve a snow scene. And if you’re brave enough to venture into a shopping mall at this time of year, you’ll be confronted with piles of polystyrene, plastic and paper replacements for the real deal: the world is snow mad. The jury’s still out on whether Christmas will be white, but sooner or later, this winter should give us at least one snow day. And when it comes, don’t think you’ll get away with building a plain old carrot-and-coal snowman. Modern snowmen are creative, comedic and sometimes plain scary. So, stick on the heating, grab a cuppa and peruse the internet’s finest snowmen. Now, what will you build?

1. Honey, I Blew Up the Snowman

Honey, I Blew Up the SnowmanImage Source

Above: If it wasn’t for the smiley face, we’d be worried he was going to swallow that kid whole.

2. Gore Blimey

Gore BlimeyImage Source

Above: Terrifying. Yet somehow, almost cute.

3. Gangnam Style

Gangnam StyleImage Source

Above: Adding to the baffling craze for PSY’s bizarre hit (come on, you danced to it at the work Christmas party, didn’t you?) is this fan’s tribute in snow.

4. Upside Down

Upside DownImage Source

Above: Sometimes the simplest of ideas work better when you turn them on their head.

5. Cold Very Snow Is

Cold Very Snow IsImage Source

Above: Oh, look at Yoda! Waving and everything.

6. Honest

HonestImage Source

Above: Yes, alright, we get it: you’ll be dead and we’ll all be back at work.

7. Snow Days are Like Buses

 Snow Days are Like BusesImage Source

Above: You’ll be standing there for a while, mate. Didn’t you know that buses only come once every ten hours when it’s snowing? Should have got on the 2A while you had a chance.

8. Zombie Apocalypse

Zombie ApocalypseImage Source

Above: Look at their evil, twiggy eyebrows. You almost feel for the poor fella in the foreground.

9. Engaged

EngagedImage Source

Above: Sometimes, there are no words. Except for, we wonder if the creator of this was sitting on the toilet when they came up with the idea.

10. I Want to Ride My Bicycle

I Want to Ride My BicycleImage Source

Above: “Officer, what do you mean? I am perfectly in control of this bike.”

11. Childsplay

ChildsplayImage Source

Above: Something tells us they won’t have any clip-on hair to fit this guy in their Lego collection.

12. Spongebob Snowman

Spongebob SnowmanImage Source

Above: “He lives in a pineapple under the sea…” oh no, wait… “He lives in a field covered in snow…”

13. Feed the Birds

Feed the BirdsImage Source

Above: This clever snowman doubles up as a bird feeder. Just a shame a squirrel got there before any feathered friends.

14. Row, Row, Row Your Boat

Row, Row, Row Your BoatImage Source

Above: Never mind if you’re not getting anywhere – you’ve got a very cool hat molded out of a sandcastle bucket.

15. Gravely Cold

Gravely ColdImage Source

Above: Wow, just when we thought things couldn’t get darker than the snowman apocalypse…

16. Weighty Issues

Weighty IssuesImage Source

Above: “People keep telling me my arms look like twigs. I’ll show ‘em…”

17. Hello, Is it Me You’re Looking For?

Hello, Is it Me You’re Looking For?Image Source

Above: “I’m trapped in a phone box and I could do with rescuing. Preferably before the thaw happens.”

18. Stay-Puft

Stay-PuftImage Source

Above: “Who ya gonna call?” Ask the guy in the previous picture.

19. Heart Ripped Out

Heart Ripped OutImage Source

Above: Emo snow.

20. Tallest Snowman on Earth

Tallest Snowman on EarthImage Source

Above: We’ll end with the greatest of them all, a colossus of the snow-sculpture world, built in Maine in 1999. Measuring 34 metres high and made with 3700 buckets of snow, it was built with the help of a crane, as well as the local community.



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